I think I have INTGOOTFH Syndrome!

2009 got off to a very rocky start. The stomach virus hit us January 1st and lasted too long! Then Catherine started teething. Thomas went back to Mother's Day Out after being gone for Christmas Break and being sick and picked up some new words which included "Miiiiiiine" and "Nooooooooooooo." (Both are pronounced in a long, ear-curdling shrill only a few decibels lower than those which only dogs can pick up on.) The screaming wouldn't be complete without the famous floor dive. Yes, he throws himself into the floor, parking lot, whatever... and cries anytime he feels the need. I'm still oblivious as to what sets him off most of the time. Often, it's simply me offering to assist him with something. I'm wondering how much more of this I can take.

I have been wondering if I have Postpartum Depression. I don't feel depressed. I just feel total exhaustion and over-whelmed by the 14+ hour days of non-stop pooping, feeding, nursing, tantrums, cooking, laundry... my list goes on and on. A friend of mine said she thinks I have somthing called, "I Need To Get Out Of The Freggin' House Syndrome." (INTGOOFTH Syndrome)



I climbed back into bed this morning after laying Catherine down for a nap. Joe stayed up and played with Thomas. I just prayed. I'm so tired. My mind won't stop. It can't. Everyone needs something... it never lets up. I prayed for Thomas especially. I want his little heart to rest. I want him to not get so easily frustrated.

I prayed for myself, too. I just want to enjoy these moments... every minute of these days I have with my young babies. I love my family so incredibly much and I feel too tired to enjoy it all.

Every night before dinner, we put the kids to bed. Joe and I finally have an opportunity to sit and enjoy each other. He always says the blessing and my body jerks through the whole prayer. It's my muscles adjusting to being still and going into relaxation mode. It's so strange. It usually lasts a few minutes and then I start winding down.

Tonight was really amazing. Joe want to Men's Fraternity and I had both kids in my lap after their bath. They were in their pajams and smelled so yummy. We were rocking in Catherine's big chair. These babies of ours... Thomas and Catherine... had the sweetest faces. My heart took in every laugh, smile, precious gesture.... The three of us had the best time being silly and just loving, kissing and hugging on each other for over an hour tonight. I'm so thankful for that moment of pure joy I had with them. I know it was an answer to prayer.

Thank you, God, for these precious babies and my wonderful husband. Please lighten my load and help me to fully enjoy these blessings!